Limbo

Right now, I feel we are just stuck in limbo... There isn't anything going on, other than we are happy when we get to communicate with J. We hate not talking to her more like we use to... It wasn't that long ago that we were talking non stop. I can still remember the feeling that we had known her for so much longer than we have... And when she and I both talked of smiling so much our faces hurt. Its a feeling I've only felt one other time, that was with Scott.  I love Scott's face when he sees a newer picture of her, he just lights up. I know he misses her so much, he is feeling really frustrated. She is also going through a tough time due to the deadbeat Dad situation. Its getting harder for her with all of that. That is frustrating for Scott as well, he could fix that problem, someday if she is with us.... She won't ever have to worry about the Deadbeat Dad ever again. And her son's little prayers for a Dad who cares would come true. Limbo, sucks!  Its all just heartbreaking... But at least we still have contact with each other.. Is it wrong to want more? I know she can't come here, but I wish we could just meet up without worrying about her being effected by reprisal by her family. 

Hard to Believe

Its hard to believe its been 10 years since 9-11-01. Doesn't seem like it... I just like everyone else remember exactly what I was doing that day. I remember we switched on the news that morning while I was getting ready for work and just as we did, the 2nd plane went into the World Trade Center. It was such a shock...

Today, we will be remembering not just those who died that fateful day, but also their families. The first responders who rushed in when others rushed out, only to die themselves trying to help others. As well as our military who have paid the ultimate sacrifice trying to keep us safe and their families as well. God bless them. 

It angers me that there was "no room" according to Bloomberg for the First Responders. How can he be so disrespectful? Any politician who was worth anything would give up their seat to our first responders, they earned their right to be at the 9-11 Memorial Service.  How dare they not plan for them to be there? They had how many years to do it? It also angers me deeply that God seems to have been forgotten at this service. I never thought prayer would be banned from a Memorial Service in America. It is freedom of Religion not freedom FROM Religion. There are how American people who don't even realize that the phrase "separation of church and state do NOT exist in the Constitution or Bill of Rights?!? That phrase was used in a letter by Thomas Jefferson and has been taken out of context at best. 

We will be praying tomorrow while we watch the Memorial Service on TV, they are unable to stop National Prayer thank God. I hope that many more Americans will join in prayer as well. Our children know the true meaning of 9-11, they know who attacked us and why. They know it was evil that attacked us that day, that its important to be awake in the world and not go to sleep what is going on 1/2 a world away. It can effect you, even if you don't think it does... It was a wake up call for so many Americans. Many have gone back to sleep, a sad fact. Many don't think about those on the other side of the world fighting to keep them safe even today. Nor do many of them remember our military, veterans or their families. Or even those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for their continued freedom and safety. History books have already started white washing some of what happened just ten years ago. Too many don't want to say it was radical Muslim extremists that attacked us that day. They deny that their goal is to take down American and make us an Caliphate even though they state their objectives clearly and in the open. That is scary, because before 9-11 these same people were at war with us before we would even acknowledge that fact. The 9-11 report is clear on that fact, so how can some already go back to sleep? Its important to teach our children not to be afraid, but to stand proudly as Americans. Watchful yet vigilant. (Of course, its important to take what is appropriate for the child's age into consideration as well. Obviously a young child should not be given information they are not yet ready to process or handle.)

I hope to see many flags flying in our neighborhood. Our flag will be flying, just as soon as the sun is up here in AZ. We will fly it proudly and we will NEVER forget. 

Updates...

Well sort of.... I put in a thing to the left on my blog that allows you to email us easier. Since some people were having problems on the profile page. So, problem solved. Clink the link that says email me and we should be all set! :) I would love to do a question and answer session. So, you can leave a question in the comment section or you can email me your question using the handy dandy button on the top left of my blog! :

Other than that there is not much going on. We were praying for J and her son, this was his first week of preschool. All went well I'm happy to report. I miss talking as much as we used to and when our oldest talks about how he skype's every night with his long distance love. I'm thrilled for him because I love the girl, but I wish we did that with J. 

 I'm finally over my cold. I'm still tired, but glad to be well again. I have a lot of projects I want to get at, especially decorating the house for Halloween/fall. Halloween is one of our favorite holidays. Fall is here, even though its still pretty hot here in AZ. I'm going to try and decorate the house so that it at least feels like fall in the A/C. :)We have tickets to Mickey's Halloween Party at Disneyland and are looking forward to doing Disneyland on two separate days. It is going to be a lot of fun. I'm already planning my pirate costume. :) Dressed like a Pirate while riding   Pirates of the Caribbean, how cool is that? Plus it will be good to see Scott's Dad, he has cancer and is having surgery this month. We are praying for him. 

Hunting season has opened for Dove and the boys had a good time with Scott going out in the early morning. I'm also looking forward to bacon wrapped squab wings when we have it for dinner. Scott is a fabulous cook, for a long time I didn't eat squab, that was a view that was respected. A few years ago, I tried it because the boys would not stop raving about it. I'm glad I did. I like that they go hunting early in the AM and are back by the time I am getting up. Plus, they usually bring me breakfast. Have to love that!

Scott ordered me a new serger, I'm excited. I have a bunch of sewing projects in mind. I was ready for something to get me going again and this will do it for sure. On top of that he and the boys are currently redoing a fabulous vintage sewing desk for me. It has storage and is awesome! Yes, I'm spoiled and I know it.  We got it for a steal, but they have put a ton of work into it to get it stripped, fixing the doors and getting it ready for me. Especially in the AZ heat! Its going to be wonderful once its done! I love vintage! 

The Anniversary of 9/11 looms. As I'm sure you are all aware. We will be hanging our flag, I hope that you will be putting one out as well. Its so important to honor all of those we lost that day, including the first responders who rushed in while others rushed out. And of course those who have given their lives in the war on terror, who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. I'm especially praying for a friend who is a Gold Star Widow. She is already having a tough time and 9/11 is always especially hard for her. Her husband who was an Army Ranger, was a true American hero. We will NEVER forget. 

I'm still upset the first responders who survived were not invited to the 9/11 Memorial event. That to me is such a slap in the face. Bloomberg said there wasn't room... What a JOKE! If he was a Gentleman he would give up his seat to a first responder. How could there not be room for the first responders who are ill because of 9/11. They are victims that should be honored as well. If I was a reporter I would be doing ambush interviews and asking these politicians why they won't give up their seat to our heroes of 9/11?!? Shameful.... 

Okay, off my soapbox....

Timing, Faith & an Affirmation!

With J "thinking" about things, after so much pressure from her family. We continue to be patient, we would NEVER put any pressure on her. That is not how our family works, from the beginning we've said we will take it in her time. In God's time. 

Scott's been doing a lot of praying, he told me he keeps asking in his heart if "J" and her son belong with our family. After all, its natural for doubt to creep in. But his answer has continually been that he feels she is meant to be with us. That was just reaffirmed by a close friend who has never been wrong about anything before. Let's just say she has "a gift". And knew when Melissa would go, she knew things about Melissa that only Melissa and I would know. She has always been right about everything, she has an amazing gift. 

This friend said that Scott's Grandfather recently came to her. She even knew the "special" name, Scott called his Grandpa. Something we have never discussed with her before.  She said that, his Grandfather was a very private, but strong personality. And that is the darn truth. She also knew things about him she couldn't have known. At any rate, to get to the point....

She said, Scott's Grandfather said Scott had been asking a question a lot lately from the his soul. She didn't know what the question was, Scott's Grandfather wouldn't say. He told her, if Scott wanted her to know, Scott would tell her. Again, very like Scott's Grandfather. He said, he wanted to give Scott the answer to the question.

He said, "Search the very depths of your heart you know the answer is yes. The obstacles in the way now will pass."

All, I can say is Wow! If that wasn't a sign I don't know what is... 

Like I said, she's never been wrong before. Including in recent weeks knowing about one of son's friend passing and warning us that it was suicide before the family shared that. She also was worried about our son's girlfriends family, as she knew they were going to have a difficult week and were in need of prayer. She was right about that, without any way of knowing... They are mourning the death of a friend's husband. 

When our oldest was dating a girl I was worried about, she told me not to worry. She gave me the approximate time they would break up and she was right. When I was worried they would get back together, she told me that wouldn't happen. She also told me that I would be very happy with his new girlfriend and that she is the one. She was right about that as well. In fact, we are thrilled. 

Only time will tell if she is right about this, we can only hope and leave it in God's hands. It also is in "J"'s hands. She has to decide what she wants for her future, not just for her but if she wants her son to be a part of this family as well. God does give us blessings, but we have to decide if we are going to be a part of the blessings he offers us, or if we are going to decide that it isn't worth whatever obstacles are in the way. Nothing that is worthwhile ever comes easily. I can honestly say, that God never promises us that our journeys will be easy, even those paths he wants us to follow are never easy. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want us to follow that path. Does it? No, the Bible tells us our paths will not be easy, but the reward is worth the journey. I believe that in my whole heart.

We will just be patient and wait for God's timing... 

We are thankful that J and her son were brought safely through the Hurricane. Our prayers were answered about that. What a relief! We are now praying for those who weren't so lucky. It's amazing how much devastation water can do! And so many are without power even now!  

Prayers for J & her son, along with all those in the path of Hurricane Irene

We are praying for all those in the path of hurricane Irene, we have friends all along the path. But we are most worried about J and her son. They live in a basement apartment, so with winds they should be safe. What worries us the most is the water. The storm surge that is expected is what we are most worried about. 

We feel pretty helpless to help them. I wish we could just get them out of the way of this storm. I'm glad she has family there, but they don't seem to be taking it that seriously. Which is a worry. All we can do is pray. When we lived in VA, we got out of the way of these things, no property or possession in life is ever worth your taking a chance. As soon as Scott was done with the base getting the jets evacuated, we would leave too. I did go through one hurricane, when Scott was deployed. That was scary, but nothing compared to this storm. People are what matter. Right now, that is what we are worried about. J and her son, who can't get out of the way of this storm. She's at the mercy of her family, just as she is with our relationship. But this is different, all we can do is watch, wait and pray. I wish we could have just flown them here. And not just because we want her with us, but because we want her out of the way of this storm.

Scott is especially worried and even the boys keep asking is she is prepared and ready. Gavin asks about them all the time already. 

We always keep; water, food, flashlights and candles on hand. I wish there were time to get it all to J and her son. Especially, since all those things are sold out there. 

God be with all in the path of this storm. 

Hope

Hope gives you the strength to keep going

when you feel like giving up.

Don’t ever quit believing in yourself.

As long as you believe you can,

you will have a reason for trying.

Don’t let anyone hold your happiness in their hands;

hold it in your own, so it will always be within your reach.

Don’t measure success or failure by material wealth,

but by how you feel. Our feelings determine the riches in our lives.

Don’t let bad moments overcome you.

Be patient, and they will pass.

Don’t hesitate to reach out for help;

we all need it from time to time.

Don’t runaway from Love, but towards love;

because it is our deepest joy.

Don’t wait for what you want to come to you.

Go after it with all that you are;

knowing that life will meet you half way.

Don’t feel like you’ve lost when plans

and dreams fall short of your hopes.

Anytime you learn something new about yourself,

or about life, you have progressed.

If I could.... I'd help them understand, our promise will last forever.

I would change a few things, like I would have insisted we come out and get to know "J's" family, before she used the "P" word. But then again, she isn't sure that would even matter. Its partially because we live so far as well. They are very angry with her. I feel so helpless to fix the situation. I just want to get to know each other and worry about all that later. But we can't change how it started now...

I still believe she is meant to be with us, I do with my whole heart. But she is dependent on them at the moment, so she I'm sure is full of "what if's" in her head. I don't like that there seem to have been threats towards her means of support. I'm trying to understand where they are coming from, her family that is... If it were just she, that would be one thing, but she does have Jim. We understand that, we aren't in a rush at all. We would just like them to calm down and get off her back some. We'd like to go on vacation together or meet without her being held hostage. They don't understand we are just a normal family. And when we talked about it tonight, it seems it wouldn't even matter if we were... They don't want her to be so far.

If she loved where she was living, if she loved how she was living, well I could understand that. But she doesn't like where she is living, she wants a family. She wants a Father for her son. It seems like they aren't thinking of any of those things. They don't understand we are talking about a real commitment to her and her child. That Scott would adopt her son, legally and she would never have to worry about a dead beat Dad again. That we would make a legal commitment to her and their future. I wanted to write to them, but it seems that might make things worse at least at this point in time.

I wish things were different, If I could I'd fix it. Because, we care about her and her son SO much. Our entire family, our children included, already care so much. We have been independent for so long, that we are insulated from that kind of thing. Its hard for us to relate, but her family did do a lot for her when she was pregnant and the last 3 years. We do appreciate that, we really do. But it would be nice, if they would see what the future might hold for her, what SHE wants for her future and for her son. Because the family she has created for her son, should come first...

So, we are just praying about it. At this point its all we can do. "J" and her son are special, we're willing to wait, she's worth it. This time is a short period of time, when we are talking about forever. If we flew out to where she lives, they might not even let us see her. And I just feel like crying...