Our Family Our Rules

My husband started a blog! I thought I would mention it here, in case anyone wanted to check it out. After reading it, I felt it was somewhat similar to mine, lol. :) Probably because we discuss these things all the time. Especially now that we are searching for the right fit for our family. It is SO exciting just to be able to say that!

At any rate, I'm going to share the link!


Memorial Day Thoughts

This is off blog topic in a way, but then again it is not. After all, this blog is about choosing to live our lives the way we would like to live them. It's a freedom we truly believe in. Worshiping God in our own way and living our lives in the way we choose are principles to which we firmly believe. That freedom is part our American heritage, part of principles to which our country is founded.

As Memorial Day comes to a close, I would like to share some thoughts.

Memorial Day is meant to honor our service men and women who have given their very lives in service to our country. It is a proud tribute to those who made the ultimate sacrifice to preserve the freedom to which we enjoy today. It is not Veterans Day and it is not Armed Forces Day.

It believe it is important that we recognize the difference. Today, the cable channel AMC chose to show videos of soldiers coming home from Afghanistan and Iraq re-uniting with family and friends. They played these videos in between showing war movies. I believe while this was well meaning, it was in poor taste.

You see, today is meant to honor those who never came home. It is dedicated to those who never got a happy reunion. Memorial Day is a sacred day for remembering those who have given their very lives. We owe it to those who have given the ultimate sacrifice to remember the true purpose of Memorial Day. The cost of freedom is high, the cost to preserve our freedom continues to come at a heavy price. We have a debt, which we can never pay back, to those who have paid for our freedom with their very lives. The very least we can do is to keep this day a special tribute that belongs only to them. We owe it to their family: the widows/widower, their children and other family members to remember those who never came home. Who will never be reunited, including those who rest on foreign soil. We must not forget those who have paid the ultimate price, their very lives.

That is not to say that I don't believe in honoring our Veterans, or those who are currently serving in uniform and their families. That would be far from the truth. As a wife, who has watched her husband go off to war, believe me when I say firmly respect our Veterans and Service Members. I know the sacrifices our Veterans and Military Families have made and continue to make so that we can preserve freedom. I can proudly say that members of my family have served in every war since the American Revolution. I have family members serving in harms way even as I write this. I truly believe that our military Veterans, along with current Service Men, Women and their families give up more than most citizens will ever truly understand. But today is meant for those who have given their very lives and we ought to remember that today is dedicated solely to them.

We need to preserve the true meaning of Memorial Day, the true cost of freedom is high and those who have given all deserve to keep this day sacred.

Moving Forward

It took us years of thinking, talking and praying before we decided to move forward with our search. Now we are just taking things slowly. We aren't in a huge rush, we don't expect to find another soul mate in the blink of an eye. Finding someone with whom we can spend the rest of our lives with takes time.

We have already made some great new friends. It's always great to get to know new people and make new friends. We have met a few people that were looking for something different and that is okay. Even when you meet someone who isn't for you or you aren't for them, that is just part of the journey. We even met someone who wanted 'punishment'...that was a little scary. We were definitely not for her, abuse will never have a place in our home. I won't say anything more about that.

We met someone quite early in our search who was very special. Everything seemed to match; our likes, dislikes, politics, child rearing, family life. It just all seemed to fit. There weren't any expectations, we would rather just get to know someone as friends and see where things go from there. Like I said, we aren't in a rush and we want to get this right. Through her blog we got to know her as she put it, "the meat and potatoes" of who she is as a person. We were hoping to get to know her even better and think about dating. She was keeping all her options open and we were fine with that. When in time the idea became truly real to her, that she could find a couple who she might really want to be a part of their family. She then was hit with the fact that her family would never accept it. They might even cut her out of their lives. She realized they would never be able to share in her joy of her wedding, marriage and children. Faced with the reality that her family would never accept it, she would have to shut them out of a very important part of her life. It was too much. Which we totally understand and yet, it hurt.

When you have someone who tells you they could really see themselves becoming a part of your family...And that everything they want in a relationship and what you want matches. But they can't because due to reasons that no one can control, it's hard. It was actually painful, even in the early stages. We had grown attached to this person more than we ever expected could happen in such a short time. I was hurting, my husband was hurting...We wanted to do something to try and make it right but you can't. There is nothing you can do to make it right. Scott thought about sending flowers, but this isn't something flowers can fix. Nothing could change the problem. We prayed about it and that is all we could do. Letting it go was difficult, just thinking about it still makes me sick to my stomach.

Her family means the world to her, she was raised by extended family due to her parents death. She can't turn around and break their hearts or lie to them. We understand that completely. Nothing is more important to us than family, we want someone who thinks family is everything.

The hard part comes in with finding someone who wants to put family first, but is willing to risk telling their own family they are going to do something that isn't accepted in our society. That isn't easy. It's daunting just thinking about it.

We are moving forward with continued thought and prayer. We wish her the best of course, we still care about her very much. We pray that she gets everything she wants out of life. She realized that a poly relationship is not something she can be a part of even though the idea of a poly family appeals to her. We hope that she finds the love of her life, that she has the marriage and family that she longs to have someday. We have no doubts that she will be a wonderful spouse and Mother. We pray she finds someone who truly appreciates her.

We really hesitated to write about this, but it IS part of our journey. Everything we learn along the way brings us closer to where God intends us to be, I firmly believe that. For some reason our paths crossed, we may never know the reason why and that is okay. It's not always easy, but nothing worthwhile in life is easy. When things come easily we don't appreciate them as much. When God sends us the right person, we will appreciate her in every way.