Limbo

Right now, I feel we are just stuck in limbo... There isn't anything going on, other than we are happy when we get to communicate with J. We hate not talking to her more like we use to... It wasn't that long ago that we were talking non stop. I can still remember the feeling that we had known her for so much longer than we have... And when she and I both talked of smiling so much our faces hurt. Its a feeling I've only felt one other time, that was with Scott.  I love Scott's face when he sees a newer picture of her, he just lights up. I know he misses her so much, he is feeling really frustrated. She is also going through a tough time due to the deadbeat Dad situation. Its getting harder for her with all of that. That is frustrating for Scott as well, he could fix that problem, someday if she is with us.... She won't ever have to worry about the Deadbeat Dad ever again. And her son's little prayers for a Dad who cares would come true. Limbo, sucks!  Its all just heartbreaking... But at least we still have contact with each other.. Is it wrong to want more? I know she can't come here, but I wish we could just meet up without worrying about her being effected by reprisal by her family. 

Hard to Believe

Its hard to believe its been 10 years since 9-11-01. Doesn't seem like it... I just like everyone else remember exactly what I was doing that day. I remember we switched on the news that morning while I was getting ready for work and just as we did, the 2nd plane went into the World Trade Center. It was such a shock...

Today, we will be remembering not just those who died that fateful day, but also their families. The first responders who rushed in when others rushed out, only to die themselves trying to help others. As well as our military who have paid the ultimate sacrifice trying to keep us safe and their families as well. God bless them. 

It angers me that there was "no room" according to Bloomberg for the First Responders. How can he be so disrespectful? Any politician who was worth anything would give up their seat to our first responders, they earned their right to be at the 9-11 Memorial Service.  How dare they not plan for them to be there? They had how many years to do it? It also angers me deeply that God seems to have been forgotten at this service. I never thought prayer would be banned from a Memorial Service in America. It is freedom of Religion not freedom FROM Religion. There are how American people who don't even realize that the phrase "separation of church and state do NOT exist in the Constitution or Bill of Rights?!? That phrase was used in a letter by Thomas Jefferson and has been taken out of context at best. 

We will be praying tomorrow while we watch the Memorial Service on TV, they are unable to stop National Prayer thank God. I hope that many more Americans will join in prayer as well. Our children know the true meaning of 9-11, they know who attacked us and why. They know it was evil that attacked us that day, that its important to be awake in the world and not go to sleep what is going on 1/2 a world away. It can effect you, even if you don't think it does... It was a wake up call for so many Americans. Many have gone back to sleep, a sad fact. Many don't think about those on the other side of the world fighting to keep them safe even today. Nor do many of them remember our military, veterans or their families. Or even those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for their continued freedom and safety. History books have already started white washing some of what happened just ten years ago. Too many don't want to say it was radical Muslim extremists that attacked us that day. They deny that their goal is to take down American and make us an Caliphate even though they state their objectives clearly and in the open. That is scary, because before 9-11 these same people were at war with us before we would even acknowledge that fact. The 9-11 report is clear on that fact, so how can some already go back to sleep? Its important to teach our children not to be afraid, but to stand proudly as Americans. Watchful yet vigilant. (Of course, its important to take what is appropriate for the child's age into consideration as well. Obviously a young child should not be given information they are not yet ready to process or handle.)

I hope to see many flags flying in our neighborhood. Our flag will be flying, just as soon as the sun is up here in AZ. We will fly it proudly and we will NEVER forget. 

Updates...

Well sort of.... I put in a thing to the left on my blog that allows you to email us easier. Since some people were having problems on the profile page. So, problem solved. Clink the link that says email me and we should be all set! :) I would love to do a question and answer session. So, you can leave a question in the comment section or you can email me your question using the handy dandy button on the top left of my blog! :

Other than that there is not much going on. We were praying for J and her son, this was his first week of preschool. All went well I'm happy to report. I miss talking as much as we used to and when our oldest talks about how he skype's every night with his long distance love. I'm thrilled for him because I love the girl, but I wish we did that with J. 

 I'm finally over my cold. I'm still tired, but glad to be well again. I have a lot of projects I want to get at, especially decorating the house for Halloween/fall. Halloween is one of our favorite holidays. Fall is here, even though its still pretty hot here in AZ. I'm going to try and decorate the house so that it at least feels like fall in the A/C. :)We have tickets to Mickey's Halloween Party at Disneyland and are looking forward to doing Disneyland on two separate days. It is going to be a lot of fun. I'm already planning my pirate costume. :) Dressed like a Pirate while riding   Pirates of the Caribbean, how cool is that? Plus it will be good to see Scott's Dad, he has cancer and is having surgery this month. We are praying for him. 

Hunting season has opened for Dove and the boys had a good time with Scott going out in the early morning. I'm also looking forward to bacon wrapped squab wings when we have it for dinner. Scott is a fabulous cook, for a long time I didn't eat squab, that was a view that was respected. A few years ago, I tried it because the boys would not stop raving about it. I'm glad I did. I like that they go hunting early in the AM and are back by the time I am getting up. Plus, they usually bring me breakfast. Have to love that!

Scott ordered me a new serger, I'm excited. I have a bunch of sewing projects in mind. I was ready for something to get me going again and this will do it for sure. On top of that he and the boys are currently redoing a fabulous vintage sewing desk for me. It has storage and is awesome! Yes, I'm spoiled and I know it.  We got it for a steal, but they have put a ton of work into it to get it stripped, fixing the doors and getting it ready for me. Especially in the AZ heat! Its going to be wonderful once its done! I love vintage! 

The Anniversary of 9/11 looms. As I'm sure you are all aware. We will be hanging our flag, I hope that you will be putting one out as well. Its so important to honor all of those we lost that day, including the first responders who rushed in while others rushed out. And of course those who have given their lives in the war on terror, who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. I'm especially praying for a friend who is a Gold Star Widow. She is already having a tough time and 9/11 is always especially hard for her. Her husband who was an Army Ranger, was a true American hero. We will NEVER forget. 

I'm still upset the first responders who survived were not invited to the 9/11 Memorial event. That to me is such a slap in the face. Bloomberg said there wasn't room... What a JOKE! If he was a Gentleman he would give up his seat to a first responder. How could there not be room for the first responders who are ill because of 9/11. They are victims that should be honored as well. If I was a reporter I would be doing ambush interviews and asking these politicians why they won't give up their seat to our heroes of 9/11?!? Shameful.... 

Okay, off my soapbox....

Timing, Faith & an Affirmation!

With J "thinking" about things, after so much pressure from her family. We continue to be patient, we would NEVER put any pressure on her. That is not how our family works, from the beginning we've said we will take it in her time. In God's time. 

Scott's been doing a lot of praying, he told me he keeps asking in his heart if "J" and her son belong with our family. After all, its natural for doubt to creep in. But his answer has continually been that he feels she is meant to be with us. That was just reaffirmed by a close friend who has never been wrong about anything before. Let's just say she has "a gift". And knew when Melissa would go, she knew things about Melissa that only Melissa and I would know. She has always been right about everything, she has an amazing gift. 

This friend said that Scott's Grandfather recently came to her. She even knew the "special" name, Scott called his Grandpa. Something we have never discussed with her before.  She said that, his Grandfather was a very private, but strong personality. And that is the darn truth. She also knew things about him she couldn't have known. At any rate, to get to the point....

She said, Scott's Grandfather said Scott had been asking a question a lot lately from the his soul. She didn't know what the question was, Scott's Grandfather wouldn't say. He told her, if Scott wanted her to know, Scott would tell her. Again, very like Scott's Grandfather. He said, he wanted to give Scott the answer to the question.

He said, "Search the very depths of your heart you know the answer is yes. The obstacles in the way now will pass."

All, I can say is Wow! If that wasn't a sign I don't know what is... 

Like I said, she's never been wrong before. Including in recent weeks knowing about one of son's friend passing and warning us that it was suicide before the family shared that. She also was worried about our son's girlfriends family, as she knew they were going to have a difficult week and were in need of prayer. She was right about that, without any way of knowing... They are mourning the death of a friend's husband. 

When our oldest was dating a girl I was worried about, she told me not to worry. She gave me the approximate time they would break up and she was right. When I was worried they would get back together, she told me that wouldn't happen. She also told me that I would be very happy with his new girlfriend and that she is the one. She was right about that as well. In fact, we are thrilled. 

Only time will tell if she is right about this, we can only hope and leave it in God's hands. It also is in "J"'s hands. She has to decide what she wants for her future, not just for her but if she wants her son to be a part of this family as well. God does give us blessings, but we have to decide if we are going to be a part of the blessings he offers us, or if we are going to decide that it isn't worth whatever obstacles are in the way. Nothing that is worthwhile ever comes easily. I can honestly say, that God never promises us that our journeys will be easy, even those paths he wants us to follow are never easy. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want us to follow that path. Does it? No, the Bible tells us our paths will not be easy, but the reward is worth the journey. I believe that in my whole heart.

We will just be patient and wait for God's timing... 

We are thankful that J and her son were brought safely through the Hurricane. Our prayers were answered about that. What a relief! We are now praying for those who weren't so lucky. It's amazing how much devastation water can do! And so many are without power even now!  

Prayers for J & her son, along with all those in the path of Hurricane Irene

We are praying for all those in the path of hurricane Irene, we have friends all along the path. But we are most worried about J and her son. They live in a basement apartment, so with winds they should be safe. What worries us the most is the water. The storm surge that is expected is what we are most worried about. 

We feel pretty helpless to help them. I wish we could just get them out of the way of this storm. I'm glad she has family there, but they don't seem to be taking it that seriously. Which is a worry. All we can do is pray. When we lived in VA, we got out of the way of these things, no property or possession in life is ever worth your taking a chance. As soon as Scott was done with the base getting the jets evacuated, we would leave too. I did go through one hurricane, when Scott was deployed. That was scary, but nothing compared to this storm. People are what matter. Right now, that is what we are worried about. J and her son, who can't get out of the way of this storm. She's at the mercy of her family, just as she is with our relationship. But this is different, all we can do is watch, wait and pray. I wish we could have just flown them here. And not just because we want her with us, but because we want her out of the way of this storm.

Scott is especially worried and even the boys keep asking is she is prepared and ready. Gavin asks about them all the time already. 

We always keep; water, food, flashlights and candles on hand. I wish there were time to get it all to J and her son. Especially, since all those things are sold out there. 

God be with all in the path of this storm. 

Hope

Hope gives you the strength to keep going

when you feel like giving up.

Don’t ever quit believing in yourself.

As long as you believe you can,

you will have a reason for trying.

Don’t let anyone hold your happiness in their hands;

hold it in your own, so it will always be within your reach.

Don’t measure success or failure by material wealth,

but by how you feel. Our feelings determine the riches in our lives.

Don’t let bad moments overcome you.

Be patient, and they will pass.

Don’t hesitate to reach out for help;

we all need it from time to time.

Don’t runaway from Love, but towards love;

because it is our deepest joy.

Don’t wait for what you want to come to you.

Go after it with all that you are;

knowing that life will meet you half way.

Don’t feel like you’ve lost when plans

and dreams fall short of your hopes.

Anytime you learn something new about yourself,

or about life, you have progressed.

If I could.... I'd help them understand, our promise will last forever.

I would change a few things, like I would have insisted we come out and get to know "J's" family, before she used the "P" word. But then again, she isn't sure that would even matter. Its partially because we live so far as well. They are very angry with her. I feel so helpless to fix the situation. I just want to get to know each other and worry about all that later. But we can't change how it started now...

I still believe she is meant to be with us, I do with my whole heart. But she is dependent on them at the moment, so she I'm sure is full of "what if's" in her head. I don't like that there seem to have been threats towards her means of support. I'm trying to understand where they are coming from, her family that is... If it were just she, that would be one thing, but she does have Jim. We understand that, we aren't in a rush at all. We would just like them to calm down and get off her back some. We'd like to go on vacation together or meet without her being held hostage. They don't understand we are just a normal family. And when we talked about it tonight, it seems it wouldn't even matter if we were... They don't want her to be so far.

If she loved where she was living, if she loved how she was living, well I could understand that. But she doesn't like where she is living, she wants a family. She wants a Father for her son. It seems like they aren't thinking of any of those things. They don't understand we are talking about a real commitment to her and her child. That Scott would adopt her son, legally and she would never have to worry about a dead beat Dad again. That we would make a legal commitment to her and their future. I wanted to write to them, but it seems that might make things worse at least at this point in time.

I wish things were different, If I could I'd fix it. Because, we care about her and her son SO much. Our entire family, our children included, already care so much. We have been independent for so long, that we are insulated from that kind of thing. Its hard for us to relate, but her family did do a lot for her when she was pregnant and the last 3 years. We do appreciate that, we really do. But it would be nice, if they would see what the future might hold for her, what SHE wants for her future and for her son. Because the family she has created for her son, should come first...

So, we are just praying about it. At this point its all we can do. "J" and her son are special, we're willing to wait, she's worth it. This time is a short period of time, when we are talking about forever. If we flew out to where she lives, they might not even let us see her. And I just feel like crying...

A little thing that happened, that just might make you laugh :)

Oh my Goodness, I have to share this.....I thought Scott was on the phone with "J" earlier today. I kept telling him things I wanted to tell her... I could NOT for the life of me understand why he was not listening to me and kept giving me "the look". You know the look of don't bother me right now. It didn't stop me from adding my 2 cents. He kept looking at me like, are you nuts? I was really getting perturbed with him for not telling her what I was saying to him.... I even yelled out a joking, "When you marry us, you can help!". When he was talking about our business. He just turned his back and kept talking! Wow, I was really getting mad. This wasn't like Scott at all... What the heck. And then I found out... He was not on the phone with "J"! He was on the phone with his MOTHER! Oooopsie, Hahahaha!

I just had to share that! J got a laugh out of it too when I told her! And I'm happy to report the last 2 days her phone has been working much better. Which has made my hubby and I both much happier! :)

Sleepless in AZ

I need to write more often, this is realize. Its just when your courting by phone, text, email, etc. There is not a ton to wrote about. I'm truly ready for visits. Or at least make solid plans for visits, Scott is too. But right now there is a problem with "J's" immediate family. I can't fix her family or how they feel about her leaving to be with another family. I can't make her Sisters' accept us, its all frustrating. For her, for us.... It just sucks. I don't know exactly what one of her Sister's said to her about the situation. I don't think it was very nice. I do know she forbid her to speak about us to her again or leaving to be with us again... Not good....

I don't know when we will be doing the first visit. I just don't know.... And I hate not knowing, I'm a worrier and I can't imagine anyone but J joining the family. :( Neither can Scott, we care about her so much. I know its a short time, that there is plenty of time.... But being far and not being able to go on normal dates, that just makes the whole situation worse.

We have sent some packages. And when she was really down about what her Sister said, we sent flowers. That is about all we can do at the moment. Its hard for her, her Sisters' both live across the street from her and her Mother lives in the same building she does... In fact, her flowers were delivered to her Mom by mistake. Ooopsie! Throw in problems with her cell phone reception.... And its like a comedy... kind of... Only with some tears thrown in.

One thing we love about J is that family is important to her. But that isn't making this difficult situation easy at the moment. And that leaves us Sleepless in AZ and her Sleepless in NY. Can't we just meet on top of the Empire State building and live happily every after?

Telling a Close Friend

Tonight, we told a very close friend about our "J", the special lady we are courting. This friend means a lot to our family, she may live on the other side of the town, but we both cherish her friendship. It went better than I could have ever expected. Turns out, she is already friends with a polygamous wife! Sheeesh, guess she keeps really good secrets :) Our friend is excited for us! She was thrilled right off the bat, even before she asked questions! She said, our marriage is the strongest she knows and thinks its wonderful. She can't wait to meet J when she comes for the visit, without a doubt she is thrilled for us. I'm so glad we decided she would be the first local friend we told, we had decided a bit ago she would be. But, I had wanted to tell her in person, I thought that would be better. I'm so glad we didn't wait, because now we have a close friend who supports us, is excited for us and loves us regardless.

I wish I could call J and tell her, but she's spending the night at a friend's house tonight! J and the little one will be at Sesame Place tomorrow. Wish we were going with them! When they get back, our package of presents should be waiting for them :) Yes, we have her real address now. I know I haven't blogged much, I need to do better about that! I will say that things are going very well. Its amazing how we are nearing our 2 month Anniversary and it seems like we have been together longer, that she was meant to be with us. And that we were meant to be with her and her child. Can't thank the Lord enough for bringing J and her son to us!

Courting a Sisterwife...

Would be so much easier if she didn't live SO far.... :( 

Is it possible to miss someone you haven't yet met? You betcha! It would be so much easier if we could just go out on regular dates and have her over for dinner... I'm not going to get discouraged though, I'm not going to let it bother me.... Because we are SO happy to be so blessed that she found us.  Thank you Lord, because in our hearts, Scott and I know she was Heaven sent!

Someone Special....

Someone special has come into our lives, or should I say two special people. Because this someone special has an adorable child! I'm excited, I'm elated and this person puts a huge smile on my face when my phone buzzes. Its been a crazy few weeks, our oldest came home from University and its the shortest visit yet. So, we packed in a lot of family fun in a short period of time. We had a great time, but I'm a bit tired. I've been meaning to write for some time, in fact I have a few posts I do need to publish, that are sitting waiting. This one gets to jump to the head of the line.

This special person found us, we did not find her. She stumbled across my blog and read all the posts, she got to know us through the blogs before we even knew she was there. She's never commented on any of the posts and as you know I haven't been posting much anyway. We had put our search on the back burner while we went through my health crisis, which thanks to the Lord above we got through and are back to just being "us".

As I was saying, this special lady found us, she wrote us and her mail was returned. Why? I have no clue... But she still wrote us again, as Scott recently said, Who does that?!? I can tell you for the most part if mail is returned, that is it if I think I have the address correct. I'm so glad she wrote us again, in fact I'm thrilled she wrote us again. I loved the look on my husband's face when he saw her picture, I love how he said, We're going to write this one, right?!? It was adorable. I'm so glad we wrote her. I don't know where life will lead us or what God has in store. But I do know that this feels different than anyone we've ever talked to. I feel like we already know her and we have so much in common. Now, I'm not looking for some carbon copy of me. If she has other interests, that is great. It is nice to have things in common though. She doesn't have to look at the world through my eyes, I can celebrate differences as much as I can things we have in common.

Her son is just so handsome, you can tell he is smart. We've seen video and he is just so cute. He reminds me a lot of our second son. You can just tell he is thinking. He is also so sweet. There is one video where he tries to share his ice cream with his Mother, its just so touching. I love to hear about him, what they are doing, going to the park, etc. She is a wonderful Mother, you can tell he is her whole world and her priority. She feels the same way about him as we do about the boys. There is NOTHING more important than our children and our family. Finding someone who feels that way has been our priority. He deserves the best, he deserves a great family and so does she. The fact that she is looking for a family, not just a husband, well that I fully believe. Not because I want to believe it, but you can tell that she means it.

Its interesting that when you find someone who you feel a special bond with, its interesting that things you never thought you could find yourself thinking or doing...Well, I just have to say that sometimes you surprise yourself. Now, I'm never going to say what this is, but there was something that a month ago I would have thought it would be a deal breaker. That said, I would like to say the content of her character has already been proven, because of that and some prayer along with some education on our part. This deal breaker is not a deal breaker at all, now it might be with someone else, but not with her. Now our reaction; surprised Scott some, it surprised me a bit and it surprised her as well. God works that way, he helps you through things and helps you grow in ways you never thought possible. This time he did it rather quickly, we prayed and I can tell you I have never felt such an immediate  answer to my prayer in all my life. I felt as if he had tapped me on the shoulder and showed me the way. Even filling my head with words that made perfect sense to the situation. Words I didn't have earlier before the prayer. Scott had the same experience and it took us both by surprise. I do believe God is taking the lead, I'm going to trust Him. The past is the past, the only thing that matters is where we go from here.

Now, the only sense of frustration I have found so far is that I wish we lived closer. I want to just make a date and go out to dinner. I want to go to the movies or go to the park with her. Its frustrating and this is only the beginning! I know that we are just getting to know each other and there will be visits. But right now, I just wish we could get the two of them together with our family. I want to do things together! The fact that we can't at the moment.... Well, it is bothering me more than I would have ever imagined. We are new to this long distance thing... Its a new stage for all of us. She's new to all this too. So, we are going down this journey together and we will see where we end up. Let's hope with God's help, we might just end up a family.  

I must admit, I'm a little scared. Anyone who knows me well knows I wear my heart on my sleeve. Its something I can't change, its who I am, I don't think I want to change it. It does mean, that I am easily hurt. I know that in order to open up your heart to someone there is a chance you could get hurt. I'll take that chance, because if you don't take that chance you might miss out on something special or someone special. She thinks that this is what she wants, I hope it is, but she's new to all this and hasn't been looking for a family for very long. That scares me a bit. I also hope that our strong feelings off the bat don't scare her. I can say that when Scott and I started dating, he had this feeling right away that I was the one. It scared me a bit, even though I knew he wasn't in a hurry and he wasn't expecting anything immediate. It still scared me. He has always been able to pick things up with feelings, he's often right about them.  I'm so glad it didn't scare me off though, because I would have missed out on so much. I wouldn't change spending my life with Scott for anything or everything in the whole wide world. What we have is precious and priceless in my opinion. I hope that we can share that with her. I think she's special and she deserves to be happy. She deserves to be supported in what she wants out of life and so does her son. The both deserves a loving family.

When I started this blog, I asked God to send us the right person for our family. Scott and I have prayed that I can't tell you how many times. Just when you least expect it, sometimes God answers your prayers. At the very least, we can end up friends. But I can say whole heartily that I hope it ends up something far more than a friendship. One thing we did ask God, is to recognize when God sent us the right person, I think we've done that. Let's hope that when we find that right person, she's able to recognize that we're the right family for her.

Now, we're not in a rush. We are going to take our times and get this right. We're just going to get to know each other, see how the pieces fall in place and where God leads us. No matter what, I'm glad we've met someone special.

I'm not picking your pocket, nor am I breaking your leg.

On our journey, I've come across all kinds of people. From those who email you just to tell you they don't agree with what you're doing, other families searching, women searching for families, to haters who aren't just sharing their opinion, but are down right abusive. And then there are people interested in what we are doing and want to know more, people writing papers, etc.

I've made some great friends, each one means a lot to me. I'm still in touch with some of them, others I lost contact with when I was absent. I'm glad to be back and working on my blog again. We always seem to have a lot going on and busy, as happens when you have a busy family. I plan on sharing more of what we are doing on a regular basis, so that you can get to know us better.

Recently, I made a new friend. I have to say, we have had a lot of fun getting to know each other; we laugh and often finish each others sentences. She's very easy to talk to and I find myself looking forward to talking to her and so does Scott. I don't really know where things will lead. We have a great deal in common, but right now it is far too early to say this person is anything other than a friend. Her life is not ready for anything serious at the moment, there are some loose ends, but who knows what the future holds.

I would say all in all, the people I have come across far outweigh those that are negative. Even if there are times when there is more hate mail in my box than positive, those that are positive over ride anything negative. Perhaps I do wear my heart on my sleeve. Yet, I'm not going to change who I am or what I want out of life because of the negativity of others. What I can't believe is that I actually allowed the negativity of others to keep me from sharing here on my blog. Doing so only allows those haters to control you, perhaps that is their real motive. Control.

What a sad existence one must have to have nothing better to do than to try and upset others. You have a right to your opinion, but you don't have the right to share it in a degrading, insulting way. The truth is that I don't care if you agree with our search or not. As long as what I am doing does not hurt you in any way, you really have no right to dictate my life. One of our founding Fathers, Thomas Jefferson once said, "If it It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." In other words, people have the right to live the lives of their choosing as long as it didn't hurt others. Our search for another soul mate does not hurt you, nor am I asking you to pay for it.

Think of it this way, I have the freedom (ie. right) to swing my arm if I want to, but I don't have the right to swing my arm and injure you. Do you see my point? It doesn't effect you, its our lives, its our marriage. Some are worried that its against God's law, thank you for your concern for my soul, but my relationship and my actions are between God and I. Again, it does not concern you.

You are free to express your opinion, I have no problem with that. But you don't have the freedom to bully, call names, insult my intelligence, slander or make up assumptions about my marriage. Got it? I won't allow you to degrade me on my own blog, your words will not be published, they will not be taken to heart. Opinions are welcome, abuse is not.

I hope no one takes this the wrong way. I'm open to meeting new friends and new people. I love doing so, but I am not going to let the bullies effect my behavior anymore. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to change who I am or what I want because you don't agree. While I am always willing to respectfully hear the other side of the debate, I'm not going to publish blatant harassing comments.

I'm not picking your pocket, nor am I breaking your leg. I'm standing or I should say, we are standing on our own feet. We are united in our decision to feel that this is where God is leading us and this is what is right for our family.

What do you think?

So, I've changed the look of the blog! What do you think? I love the colors and so does Scott. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but I fell in love with it.

Isn't that sometimes like life? You are looking for something or even someone, but just when you are sure of what your looking for life throws something at you. Wham, you find yourself head over heels with something or someone you didn't expect, but are absolutely happy and turns out that was what you needed all along.

Sometimes, I think people are so set in what they think they want in their future relationship and are too closed off. They don't open themselves up to the possibility that maybe some of their deal breakers are keeping them from the right person. I think it happens in poly relationships and in mono ones as well.

Why not just get to know someone and see where it leads, you could find out that those deal breakers, weren't quite so important after all. We all grow and change through life. None of us stay the same. If we close ourselves of from the what if, what do we miss?!? Could be quite a lot!

Just a thought, let me know what you think!

The picture of the beach heart is not mine.

Things are heating up!

In Arizona that is! Our weather is getting warmer and it feels like Winter is over. We've had the windows open more this year than a lot of years. Its been great. The past winters we went from heat to a/c or from a/c to heat, with little time in between with the windows open. I LOVE having the windows open.

I haven't been on here in quite awhile, my usage of the blog has been quite sporadic for quite awhile. We had a lot going on with the family and I was tired all the time.

Well, it turned out I had a major health issue, 3 large tumors to be exact. I've had surgery and by the grace of God and to the surprise of the Mayo clinic the tumors were benign. But this whole health issue did take a tole on me to be sure. I have an amazing family, I have an amazing husband. Who said, I don't care what the cost, just find out what is wrong and help her. I'm so fortunate to be so blessed. There were times when the whole thing was quite scary, my family and especially my husband was there for me all the way. When I was scared, when I was in pain, when the Doctors were sure I had cancer. When I was in ICU after surgery. I may have one less ovary and am glad to have the tumors out of my body. But going through it all made us stronger than ever.

I'm getting my strength back, still have some other things to get straightened out health wise. But my family is behind me and I am cancer free. That is an amazing feeling. I'll talk more about this in posts to come, but for right now that is all!