If I could.... I'd help them understand, our promise will last forever.

I would change a few things, like I would have insisted we come out and get to know "J's" family, before she used the "P" word. But then again, she isn't sure that would even matter. Its partially because we live so far as well. They are very angry with her. I feel so helpless to fix the situation. I just want to get to know each other and worry about all that later. But we can't change how it started now...

I still believe she is meant to be with us, I do with my whole heart. But she is dependent on them at the moment, so she I'm sure is full of "what if's" in her head. I don't like that there seem to have been threats towards her means of support. I'm trying to understand where they are coming from, her family that is... If it were just she, that would be one thing, but she does have Jim. We understand that, we aren't in a rush at all. We would just like them to calm down and get off her back some. We'd like to go on vacation together or meet without her being held hostage. They don't understand we are just a normal family. And when we talked about it tonight, it seems it wouldn't even matter if we were... They don't want her to be so far.

If she loved where she was living, if she loved how she was living, well I could understand that. But she doesn't like where she is living, she wants a family. She wants a Father for her son. It seems like they aren't thinking of any of those things. They don't understand we are talking about a real commitment to her and her child. That Scott would adopt her son, legally and she would never have to worry about a dead beat Dad again. That we would make a legal commitment to her and their future. I wanted to write to them, but it seems that might make things worse at least at this point in time.

I wish things were different, If I could I'd fix it. Because, we care about her and her son SO much. Our entire family, our children included, already care so much. We have been independent for so long, that we are insulated from that kind of thing. Its hard for us to relate, but her family did do a lot for her when she was pregnant and the last 3 years. We do appreciate that, we really do. But it would be nice, if they would see what the future might hold for her, what SHE wants for her future and for her son. Because the family she has created for her son, should come first...

So, we are just praying about it. At this point its all we can do. "J" and her son are special, we're willing to wait, she's worth it. This time is a short period of time, when we are talking about forever. If we flew out to where she lives, they might not even let us see her. And I just feel like crying...


  1. There are few things so sad as people who belong together, who feel that they belong together and were meant to be... But are kept apart by others, who do no understand what they feel for each other.I hope it works out and they don't keep you apart in the long run.

  2. Oh I feel for you I really do! But I also have come to understand how the family that is left behind feels........that said, she is a grown up and should be allowed to follow her own path in life!
    Perhaps you could travel there? Meet everyone? If that isn't a viable option perhaps she can travel to meet you for a visit?
    This is a difficult thing for you and your family right now and I will be thinking of you :)

  3. We want to travel there, originally we thought that would be best before the P word came out. You know have them get to know us as who we are before making a judgement. But it seems the distance is more the problem. If we saw her it would have to be in secret, because they have threatened to take away her phone, cable and internet. Its like she's a prisoner, not a person. Its just sad. She fits our family so well. She wants a family, not just the man and that is so hard to find. She and Jim have already touched our hearts. We don't just want her, we want to give she and Jim a better life. Give both of them a family. :(